In the last post I praised Giada De Laurentiis’ recipe. Her show Everyday Italian is a very entertaining show. Her techniques are sound (she went to culinary school) and she has a well-meaning approach to introducing each dish. And all the food looks very very tasty. But I just have one problem with her – she looks so pretty, and she is very skinny. I know I should not be one to judge, me being very thin on a very fat diet after all. But I just can’t help but suspect that she might have food issues. I wonder if she just doesn’t eat very much.
Another skinny chick is Sandra Lee, whose show is just god-awful. Crab bisque with canned crab meat? Chili made with boxed chili mix dumped into a crock pot? This woman is a hack! The name is terrible too – semi-homemade. Why not just call it Mostly Industrialized Crap Slapped Together? She must also have some eating issues. Watching her is like seeing a car crash that I can’t turn my head from. Yuck!
On the other side of the scale, you have Rachel Ray, who is becoming the hottest ticket in the mass media. She now even has her own magazine! I don’t like her show that much, because a lot of food simply takes more than 30 minutes to taste good. But with all of those 30-minute meals she ate, she has really ballooned up in the last year or so. Maybe she should cook them a little slower. I remember seeing her in some men’s magazine (don’t ask me why I even bothered flipping through such inane material), in which she was dressed somewhat revealingly while cooking. She still looked good then. Now, try as she might, with her haircuts, waist-accentuating jackets, or black tops, she can’t hide the fact that she is a bigger girl.
I don’t have as much problem with more hefty female chefs. Ina Garten (Barefoot Contessa) has probably the best show on Food Network, and she is one big huggable mama. Paula Deen’s new show is miserably produced, but I have liked her since I started watching her old show. She is also unapologetically downing butter and cream. Gale Gand looks so sweet and nice, oh, and plump. Even Nigella Lawson, whose concept of the show consists of selling sex appeal in addition to food, is a sexy mama with big curves. Lidia Bastianich cooks up the most wonderful family-style Italian food on the PBS, and she is one large well-endowed woman. The beloved Julia Child isn’t exactly thin either, though she was mighty tall.
I have less tolerance for fat male chefs. Maybe it’s just because I hate most of their shows. Anyone saw the old episode of Julia Child with Master Chefs in which Emeril was still a handsome young man with a waist and one chin? Tyler Florence used to be somewhat cute, but now he’s also chubby, probably from all the terrible food he had as the Applebee’s spokesperson (why? WHY?). Bobby Flay is developing a double chin too and please watch out for those moobs. The only chubby chef I like is Mario Batali. Isn’t he just adorable with his big belly above those comical shorts?